is that nobody will ever accuse me of being intelligent where men are concerned. I zig when I should zag, I hop when I should hip I just can't do what I need to at the right time. I always tell my kids that they should learn something from everything they do. Even if it is to just learn the name of your vitamins that don't hurt your stomach. Sometimes life is chuck full of thest lessons and sometimes we go along with nary a bump inthe road for a while with no lessons to be learned (and that should teach us to appreciate that time).
This last couple of weeks have been full of "lessons" for me, and unfortunately like remembering my times tables I need to be reminded that I really need to be practicing them everyday to keep them fresh in my mind! Although unlike my times tables which just has me reaching for a calculator these lessons were a bit harder learned, which usually means the bosses office with the door closed. Yep got called on the carpet not bad but nonetheless a good stern look makes me want to cry and run for cover (dang rock where is it when I need it? re. the one I live under). I really did deserve it! So I have made the necessary changes and well... for me I feel like I am not living up to my potential but this is what the boss wants. This lesson I don't think I will ever learn. Sometimes I wish I could just really zip my lips!
The other lesson is really a two parter. As a general rule I stay away from men who are out of bounds... but sometimes there are some grey areas... which really shouldn't be grey but to rationalize them I let them be grey. I really need to practice leaving well enough alone and walking away, not a skill I'm good at... but one I need to learn to save heartache and grief! I think I am done practicing these lessons for one week, and will just stick with playing with paper and thankfully doing hair. The funny thing is if I had stuck to doing just that I wouldn't need the alll this instruction!
All that aside,,, I had called a friend and he was busy and couldn't talk and I didn't think a thing of it... but a day or so later which was last night he called and apologized that he couldn't talk to me and offered to leave me alone... he is really a sweet guy,,, I have reservations about him though he is like uhhmmm alot alot younger than me,, but he doesn't seem it,,, and he says I don't see my age! LOL funny thing is he thought I was 10 yr younger than what I was! Talk about flattered! I really am looking forward to the next time I see him, which will probably be next weekend,, since I have been going up there he wants to come down here,, so I think that would be great! Sooo I need to get this place in shape by then!
Let us hope for a lesson free week! OHH one other lesson I learned 3 days is tooo long to let the litterbox goooo PEEEE UUUUUUUUUU!
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Saturday, April 13, 2013
OYYYy!!!
I have been pondering this question for as along as I have been on these dating sites! Sigh are there any guys out there NOT so ingrained with sports they have other activities on their mind other than sex... which sometimes they are too polite to say it but I think when they say sports they really mean sex! My headline has gotten quite a bit of attention,,, it reads... Wanna Play??!! OK no maybe the word play has some implications I didn't mean it to have... and wasn't really thinking that way,, cause I am uhhh duhh,,, stupid,, however I do mean it for the innocent implication which some have gotten... expecially if they have taken the time to read my little "about me" section,,, which by the way I so hate never know what to say,, "yep I'm weird message me to find out???" I liked this one guy's he said,,,"There is no way I can tell you all about me here so if you want to know message me." So I did,, It was a good one I thought,,, OYYY I am sure that I won't find my soulmate under any of these premises! But it will be nice to get out of the house sometimes... grin,, speaking of which have a date tonight movies and here for drinks... yikes... I sooo need to clean,,,
Of course then there is Anthony,, you know if that boy would give me any indications of how he feels about me it would be better,, but I think he is one of those macho guys who has to uhm have everything right before he can possibly say how he feels.. oyy! He has the ability to make me sooo dang happy and so dang mad I could scream! So the jury is still out and I am not stopping my quest while he may or may not be getting ready to tell me he has feelings for me... he did tell me he missed me the other day on the phone, that was nice. I have also decided not to count the times he told me he loved me while being intoxicated, so that leaves me in the "what the hell does he think and feel about me" boat.
In other news... I have been very sick. It all began on Tue, I got up with somewhat of a tooth ache in my upper very back molar which had a crown on it. I didn't think I ever had a crown put on without a root canal so I was thinking this can't be an abscess so I went to work and by morning it was hurting pretty good. Enough to make me stop at the dentist office on the outside chance they would work me in,, they did better however they gave me an apt. for 11 by this time I was in sooo much pain I did take an old vicodin before I left. I get in there and yep it is abscessed,,, and he does a root canal. Usually after this is done it takes about 24 hours before the pain is all gone but it gets better over the 24. I go to work Wed night and have a hard time working as it is hurting terribly and I am taking a pain pill here and there thankfully morning comes and I come home and go to bed, forgetting about a client that wanted her bangs done so she wakes me and I do her hair,,, and go right back to bed,,, still in pain and not feeling well. I wake up close to 4 call the dentist office and tell them that it is getting worse... so they call in an antibiotic and more vicodin ohhhh it was terrible having to go get it but I did and got back home took the medicine and went back to bed. Got up and went to work feeling horrible, but couldn't afford to miss work and I wasn't contagious I was running a fever at this point didn't realize it because it came on slowly but by 4 am I couldn't take it and called my mgr and asked if there was anyway I could get someone in to relieve me. So I finished I work and waited with some help from my friend Carol who delivered my papers for me.. I owe her! My relief rolled in at about 6:30... whaa whoo half an hour early but still it was better than nothing. I came home and tried to cancel my hair apts for the day but only got ahold of one so I did the first and left a note for the 2nd and went to bed. I was still in so much pain I didn't want to even move my eyes...since my stomach was feeling sick I decided to do Alevve instead of pain pills and when I woke when Kay got here I was feeling better NO fever... thankfully,,, I was beginning to feel better... she left and I ate some cream of wheat and went back to sleep... and slept waking only to look at the time about 8 times from 4 pm till I got up at 8 am this morning,,, Im tired and my mouth still hurts but the pain is manageable and centralized in my tooth not throughout my head like it was.
I think I might clean up and shower then sleep till time to get ready for my date! whaa whoo!
I hope everyone is having a good day!
Of course then there is Anthony,, you know if that boy would give me any indications of how he feels about me it would be better,, but I think he is one of those macho guys who has to uhm have everything right before he can possibly say how he feels.. oyy! He has the ability to make me sooo dang happy and so dang mad I could scream! So the jury is still out and I am not stopping my quest while he may or may not be getting ready to tell me he has feelings for me... he did tell me he missed me the other day on the phone, that was nice. I have also decided not to count the times he told me he loved me while being intoxicated, so that leaves me in the "what the hell does he think and feel about me" boat.
In other news... I have been very sick. It all began on Tue, I got up with somewhat of a tooth ache in my upper very back molar which had a crown on it. I didn't think I ever had a crown put on without a root canal so I was thinking this can't be an abscess so I went to work and by morning it was hurting pretty good. Enough to make me stop at the dentist office on the outside chance they would work me in,, they did better however they gave me an apt. for 11 by this time I was in sooo much pain I did take an old vicodin before I left. I get in there and yep it is abscessed,,, and he does a root canal. Usually after this is done it takes about 24 hours before the pain is all gone but it gets better over the 24. I go to work Wed night and have a hard time working as it is hurting terribly and I am taking a pain pill here and there thankfully morning comes and I come home and go to bed, forgetting about a client that wanted her bangs done so she wakes me and I do her hair,,, and go right back to bed,,, still in pain and not feeling well. I wake up close to 4 call the dentist office and tell them that it is getting worse... so they call in an antibiotic and more vicodin ohhhh it was terrible having to go get it but I did and got back home took the medicine and went back to bed. Got up and went to work feeling horrible, but couldn't afford to miss work and I wasn't contagious I was running a fever at this point didn't realize it because it came on slowly but by 4 am I couldn't take it and called my mgr and asked if there was anyway I could get someone in to relieve me. So I finished I work and waited with some help from my friend Carol who delivered my papers for me.. I owe her! My relief rolled in at about 6:30... whaa whoo half an hour early but still it was better than nothing. I came home and tried to cancel my hair apts for the day but only got ahold of one so I did the first and left a note for the 2nd and went to bed. I was still in so much pain I didn't want to even move my eyes...since my stomach was feeling sick I decided to do Alevve instead of pain pills and when I woke when Kay got here I was feeling better NO fever... thankfully,,, I was beginning to feel better... she left and I ate some cream of wheat and went back to sleep... and slept waking only to look at the time about 8 times from 4 pm till I got up at 8 am this morning,,, Im tired and my mouth still hurts but the pain is manageable and centralized in my tooth not throughout my head like it was.
I think I might clean up and shower then sleep till time to get ready for my date! whaa whoo!
I hope everyone is having a good day!
Thursday, April 4, 2013
The Anniversary of the Cell Phone
The cell phone turned 40 yesterday,,, and I got a text from a special friend telling me that. I already knew this because a while back he was telling me about that,,, and it is a very ironic that he makes his living of those very apperatices, and it is also very very ironic that he turned 40 yesterday too. Yes ladies and gents I am sorta dating seeing or something a younger man. Although he sometimes acts like it and sometimes.. not.
I often thought I wanted more passion and emotion and enthusiasm well I got it,,, I can honestly say that I now have that! I love the way he grins when he is thinking something mischievous, I love the way he appreciates things about me that I never knew I did or was, I also love the way he chuckles and I can hear the smile on his face over the phone. The down side is he can also make me so furious I could scream... but in his defense he told me in one of the early conversations we had he said he would at some point make me want to slap him..I said "OHHH no you won't,,, I'm not like that," I said...well lets see,,, yep he was true to his word,,, but the funny thing is I love the package,,, He has a way of diffusing my anger when all I want to do is yell at him,,, he says something which totally takes the wind out of my sails and somehow makes me smile and I can't help but not be angry any more. Not sure if he does this on purpose or if he does it without thinking. I'm not sure but I think he is really cool!
Soooo other than that working is going well... I do love my shift,,, and I am sooo very proud of myself, I got my tax exempt to balance,,, found an error that made me off by $90 that if I do say so myself... was not an easy thing to find. I guess while I am blowing my own horn I should mention that I got not one but two glowing and I mean gushing, the people stayed one night after the other one asked for comment card the other emailed Holiday Inn... whaa whoo... amazing,,, and they mentioned me by name!! How cool is that,, usually it is the front desk girls that get all the accolades! It is just really cool... and I appreciated the time they took to leave the wonderful words!!!!
Well it is once again bedtime!! I hope life is being good to you!!!
I often thought I wanted more passion and emotion and enthusiasm well I got it,,, I can honestly say that I now have that! I love the way he grins when he is thinking something mischievous, I love the way he appreciates things about me that I never knew I did or was, I also love the way he chuckles and I can hear the smile on his face over the phone. The down side is he can also make me so furious I could scream... but in his defense he told me in one of the early conversations we had he said he would at some point make me want to slap him..I said "OHHH no you won't,,, I'm not like that," I said...well lets see,,, yep he was true to his word,,, but the funny thing is I love the package,,, He has a way of diffusing my anger when all I want to do is yell at him,,, he says something which totally takes the wind out of my sails and somehow makes me smile and I can't help but not be angry any more. Not sure if he does this on purpose or if he does it without thinking. I'm not sure but I think he is really cool!
Soooo other than that working is going well... I do love my shift,,, and I am sooo very proud of myself, I got my tax exempt to balance,,, found an error that made me off by $90 that if I do say so myself... was not an easy thing to find. I guess while I am blowing my own horn I should mention that I got not one but two glowing and I mean gushing, the people stayed one night after the other one asked for comment card the other emailed Holiday Inn... whaa whoo... amazing,,, and they mentioned me by name!! How cool is that,, usually it is the front desk girls that get all the accolades! It is just really cool... and I appreciated the time they took to leave the wonderful words!!!!
Well it is once again bedtime!! I hope life is being good to you!!!
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Really???
Yes I am really happy and it seems by now which is about 3 months since the last post the most everyone knows about the divorce (was final on Feb. 5th) and where I'm at and has accepted it even those who really were very unsupportive to say the least. The kids seem to adjusting too which helps to make me really happy. I have been working full time nights long enough that my life has taken on a nice routine. Work always has it's ups and downs especially when working with all women,,, yeah,,, humm why did I quit working in a beauty shop so many years ago?? OHH yeah,,, working with all women is very difficult! I don't let work rule my world though I still have way to much good going on that it is so the least of my worries. I just leave it all there! They don't pay me enough to worry about it!
(Excuse me for the following disclaimer)
If you are my family and would rather not hear about my dating life then feel free to not follow me any longer.
OK,,, I have been feeling my way through this whole new "beginning." Dating is so different and dare I say it,, weird! I haven't done a whole lot mostly because I don't get out to meet anyone and most of the people I do talk to are online which we all know that there is a lot of talk and little action when it comes to online friends. However there are a few I don't know if I could live without! They are near and dear to my heart and I haven't even met them and probably won't, but they are there to listen and give advice even though I don't want to hear it most of the time it is spot on and I do need to think about it. I guess you can't call that dating but it is nice to have male friends to talk to!
I have met one person who has the ability to make me weak in the knees with just a smile, who in the same min. can make me so angry I could literally bite him! Who I have spent hours and hours with on the phone. Who came to visit for 3 weeks and to be honest I haven't had that much fun in a long long time. We had a snowball fight that turned into snow war I guess since we were using shovels to throw snow at each other. We had a water battle and ended up having to mop the floor. We also played Wii bowling which I hadn't done in a long time and it was really really fun! Where this is going I don't know, because he hasn't told me yet! Ok he doesn't know where his next job is going to be. If you haven't gotten it yet he is not local. He is currently in GA and is a contractor that does wireless communication stuff! Yup read his resume and I still don't have a clue what he does...... Over my head!
Now I'm sure you are all wondering how we met,,, right???? Well, unfortunately it is 2:20 and I need to be hitting the hay because I have to work tonight so I will post again soon! So stop back by and see!
(Excuse me for the following disclaimer)
If you are my family and would rather not hear about my dating life then feel free to not follow me any longer.
OK,,, I have been feeling my way through this whole new "beginning." Dating is so different and dare I say it,, weird! I haven't done a whole lot mostly because I don't get out to meet anyone and most of the people I do talk to are online which we all know that there is a lot of talk and little action when it comes to online friends. However there are a few I don't know if I could live without! They are near and dear to my heart and I haven't even met them and probably won't, but they are there to listen and give advice even though I don't want to hear it most of the time it is spot on and I do need to think about it. I guess you can't call that dating but it is nice to have male friends to talk to!
I have met one person who has the ability to make me weak in the knees with just a smile, who in the same min. can make me so angry I could literally bite him! Who I have spent hours and hours with on the phone. Who came to visit for 3 weeks and to be honest I haven't had that much fun in a long long time. We had a snowball fight that turned into snow war I guess since we were using shovels to throw snow at each other. We had a water battle and ended up having to mop the floor. We also played Wii bowling which I hadn't done in a long time and it was really really fun! Where this is going I don't know, because he hasn't told me yet! Ok he doesn't know where his next job is going to be. If you haven't gotten it yet he is not local. He is currently in GA and is a contractor that does wireless communication stuff! Yup read his resume and I still don't have a clue what he does...... Over my head!
Now I'm sure you are all wondering how we met,,, right???? Well, unfortunately it is 2:20 and I need to be hitting the hay because I have to work tonight so I will post again soon! So stop back by and see!
Sunday, November 18, 2012
What's New??
I love that question... I ask my clients that when I see them for cuts and such,,, or run into them at the store. I also ask old friends I haven't seen or talked to in a while and while it is such a basic 2 word sentence it sometimes reveals some very very shocking and interesting information.
I know that I have done my own share of shock when people would ask me that and I would nonchalantly reply, "my address" and "facebook status." Ok I never really said the whole facebook status thing but most didn't know how to take the new address thing. Or I would say, "I'm almost divorced." The really bad thing about that is I hate sensationalism; however I would word the answer to that very question in hopes of just that! Yeah I'm bad.
Although most everyone now knows the situation or has some sort or idea, and are one of two things.. supportive or quiet. I prefer the former but still having a few issues with my brother and my dad they still haven't gotten over it and are rather standoffish which is better than saying things to make me feel horrible which don't change anything they just hurt incredibly bad. The funny thing is they are the only 2 having a problem.
For example... I am so excited about Thanksgiving because I have been talking to the kids (I talk to Kay most every night) about the holiday and Kay told me that Don didn't really want to go to Jill's this year,,, so I said I would talk to them (meaning Don and Paul) about it soon. I talked to Paul this morning and ohh my gosh,, we had a nice visit... and he told me Don was thinking of having Thanksgiving dinner there but he didn't know the particulars.
I'm thinking ohh nice,,, so I called Don and he said yep he would like to do that and eat around noon, I was like whaa whooo I didn't think I would get a thanksgiving dinner with my family as I have to work and I thought they would go over to Jill's and they are eating too late for me to get back and get to bed. So I will be making my squash stuff and baking it and making a pumpkin roll and taking it out with me Thanksgiving morning and spending the morning with them and after dinner coming home to bed the kids are wanting to go to Jill's afterwards and Don happily laughed and said,, "and I will stay home and watch football!"
So this year I am very very thankful for my family the whole dang thing! I am super excited I will get a Thanksgiving dinner with my immediate family and still get to be home at a decent time to sleep for work! And my kids want to spend time with my family's holiday too! OHH By the Grace of God my Life is Good!!!!
I hope everyone else is going to have the kind of holiday that is wonderful for them!
I know that I have done my own share of shock when people would ask me that and I would nonchalantly reply, "my address" and "facebook status." Ok I never really said the whole facebook status thing but most didn't know how to take the new address thing. Or I would say, "I'm almost divorced." The really bad thing about that is I hate sensationalism; however I would word the answer to that very question in hopes of just that! Yeah I'm bad.
Although most everyone now knows the situation or has some sort or idea, and are one of two things.. supportive or quiet. I prefer the former but still having a few issues with my brother and my dad they still haven't gotten over it and are rather standoffish which is better than saying things to make me feel horrible which don't change anything they just hurt incredibly bad. The funny thing is they are the only 2 having a problem.
For example... I am so excited about Thanksgiving because I have been talking to the kids (I talk to Kay most every night) about the holiday and Kay told me that Don didn't really want to go to Jill's this year,,, so I said I would talk to them (meaning Don and Paul) about it soon. I talked to Paul this morning and ohh my gosh,, we had a nice visit... and he told me Don was thinking of having Thanksgiving dinner there but he didn't know the particulars.
I'm thinking ohh nice,,, so I called Don and he said yep he would like to do that and eat around noon, I was like whaa whooo I didn't think I would get a thanksgiving dinner with my family as I have to work and I thought they would go over to Jill's and they are eating too late for me to get back and get to bed. So I will be making my squash stuff and baking it and making a pumpkin roll and taking it out with me Thanksgiving morning and spending the morning with them and after dinner coming home to bed the kids are wanting to go to Jill's afterwards and Don happily laughed and said,, "and I will stay home and watch football!"
So this year I am very very thankful for my family the whole dang thing! I am super excited I will get a Thanksgiving dinner with my immediate family and still get to be home at a decent time to sleep for work! And my kids want to spend time with my family's holiday too! OHH By the Grace of God my Life is Good!!!!
I hope everyone else is going to have the kind of holiday that is wonderful for them!
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Truly a New Beginning....
This blog was originally named New Beginnings because it was renamed to be a reg. blog not a vacation one, however little did I know it was going to take on a whole new meaning.
I have a new beginning which for some see as a great thing but yet others have done everything from cry when I told them to getting angry and down right mean. It has not been an easy "new beginning" but easier than some have had it. I have left my husband and am living in a small apt. with the cat... Huntzberger and to be honest I am happier for the most part than I have been in years. I never really knew why I was rather depressed for a long time. I knew things weren't exactly as I would like them with Don but I thought I could deal with it and accept him for all that he is more or less.
I have struggled with being happy for the last decade or so but I always had the kids as a distraction and could convince myself I was happy with the way things were. The last few years however with the kids growing away more and more and the solitude and lack of physical love and human emotion became more and more prevalent in my life. I no longer could journal and find the good or the humor in things and I eventually had to take medication to help and then it needed to be increased. I realized with the terminal illness that finally took my mother in law that I didn't want to live a life I couldn't honestly say I was happy living. After caring for her for the last few months of her life and seeing what it was like at the end I decided I wanted to live life to the fullest potential I can. I think I knew for a long time that I needed a New Beginning but was just to complacent and scared to go forward.
I love my little apt. it isn't much to look at but well.. the landlord is the sweetest thing on feet and ohhh he is British and ohhh man he has the most wonderful accent so I love talking to him well actually listening to him and he has the greatest stories. I noticed the gutter was coming loose and called him the other day to let him know it would cost him an arm and a leg to repair them before it got ripped out with the next big rain. So I invited him in for coffee... he is just tooo funny. I love visiting with him. He is entirely too funny, and has the bluest eyes... mmm
I guess this might be a bomb for some but for the most part I want to begin "journaling" again, time permitting I also have a full time job working at a hotel as a night auditor. I love it!!! It works for me!!
I am very happy and like getting to know me again. I didn't realize how much I policed my behavior, so it is all a good thing. I hope Don is as happy as I am... my intentions were not to hurt him and it really is a no fault situation neither of us did anything blatantly wrong, sometimes stuff just happens. I hope the kids can, with time, realize that we are better off apart than together and can adjust to that. (more to come on that subject)
So I am needing to be heading off to bed but I thought I would share with my friends I have missed and I hope will still be there to read what I might have to say. :)
Saturday, May 12, 2012
You know what they say....
As you get older time speeds up... well I am truly believing this because it just seems like the days have sped by for me this past couple of months...
Sooooo much has happened since July 2011,,,, Sept. '11 Mother in law was diagnosed with cancer of the colon or ovaries and since it has been there since Jan and has been growing aprox. 1 cm a month to become an 8 cm mass they said there was nothing they could do,,, so she came home and I took care of her best I could and she passed away on Feb 8, 2012. My marriage is beyond the rocks and headed for the burmuda triangle... went sorta nuts and was an emotional mess from about OHHH mid Dec. till about mid March I would say but doing way better now. I got a job as a night auditor just 2 nights a week at the Holiday Inn Express in town. Loving it!!! Started that the week before my birthday! April arrived and Paul graduated from college...
I am so proud of my boy,,,,, he also got a job at the University at Buffalo or UB as a techincal specialist,,, pretty much doing the same job he was doing at Pitt! YAY so we spent 3 day looking for finding and securing an apt. and the next week 3 days moving him in. He is all settled and happy had his first 2 days and is liking it! So it is all good. So time has been flying by and I dont' seem to get anything done...LOL Here are some photos the first one is his dinner the night before....graduation and the others are at graduation.
I will try (Iknow I say this all the time) to do better posting here. I miss writing. :)
Sooooo much has happened since July 2011,,,, Sept. '11 Mother in law was diagnosed with cancer of the colon or ovaries and since it has been there since Jan and has been growing aprox. 1 cm a month to become an 8 cm mass they said there was nothing they could do,,, so she came home and I took care of her best I could and she passed away on Feb 8, 2012. My marriage is beyond the rocks and headed for the burmuda triangle... went sorta nuts and was an emotional mess from about OHHH mid Dec. till about mid March I would say but doing way better now. I got a job as a night auditor just 2 nights a week at the Holiday Inn Express in town. Loving it!!! Started that the week before my birthday! April arrived and Paul graduated from college...
I am so proud of my boy,,,,, he also got a job at the University at Buffalo or UB as a techincal specialist,,, pretty much doing the same job he was doing at Pitt! YAY so we spent 3 day looking for finding and securing an apt. and the next week 3 days moving him in. He is all settled and happy had his first 2 days and is liking it! So it is all good. So time has been flying by and I dont' seem to get anything done...LOL Here are some photos the first one is his dinner the night before....graduation and the others are at graduation.
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