Sunday, November 18, 2012

What's New??

I love that question... I ask my clients that when I see them for cuts and such,,, or run into them at the store. I also ask old friends I haven't seen or talked to in a while and while it is such a basic 2 word sentence it sometimes reveals some very very shocking and interesting information.  

I know that I have done my own share of shock when people would ask me that and I would nonchalantly reply, "my address" and "facebook status."  Ok I never really said the whole facebook status thing but most didn't know how to take the new address thing.  Or I would say, "I'm almost divorced." The really bad thing about that is I hate sensationalism; however I would word the answer to that very question in hopes of just that! Yeah I'm bad.  

Although most everyone now knows the situation or has some sort or idea, and are one of two things.. supportive or quiet.  I prefer the former but still having a few issues with my brother and my dad they still haven't gotten over it and are rather standoffish which is better than saying things to make me feel horrible which don't change anything they just hurt incredibly bad. The funny thing is they are the only 2 having a problem. 

For example... I am so excited about Thanksgiving because I have been talking to the kids (I talk to Kay most every night) about the holiday and Kay told me that Don didn't really want to go to Jill's this year,,, so I said I would talk to them (meaning Don and Paul) about it soon.  I talked to Paul this morning and ohh my gosh,, we had a nice visit... and he told me Don was thinking of having Thanksgiving dinner there but he didn't know the particulars.  

I'm thinking ohh nice,,, so I called Don and he said yep he would like to do that and eat around noon, I was like whaa whooo I didn't think I would get a thanksgiving dinner with my family as I have to work and I thought they would go over to Jill's and they are eating too late for me to get back and get to bed.  So I will be making my squash stuff and baking it and making a pumpkin roll and taking it out with me Thanksgiving morning and spending the morning with them and after dinner coming home to bed the kids are wanting to go to Jill's afterwards and Don happily laughed and said,, "and I will stay home and watch football!" 

So this year I am very very thankful for my family the whole dang thing!  I am super excited I will get a Thanksgiving dinner with my immediate family and still get to be home at a decent time to sleep for work!  And my kids want to spend time with my family's holiday too!  OHH By the Grace of God my Life is Good!!!!  

I hope everyone else is going to have the kind of holiday that is wonderful for them!  

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Truly a New Beginning....

This blog was originally named New Beginnings because it was renamed to be a reg. blog not a vacation one, however little did I know it was going to take on a whole new meaning.

I have a new beginning which for some see as a great thing but yet others have done everything from cry when I told them to getting angry and down right mean.  It has not been an easy "new beginning" but easier than some have had it.  I have left my husband and am living in a small apt. with the cat... Huntzberger and to be honest I am happier for the most part than I have been in years.  I never really knew why I was rather depressed for a long time.  I knew things weren't exactly as I would like them with Don but I thought I could deal with it and accept him for all that he is more or less.  

I have struggled with being happy for the last decade or so but I always had the kids as a distraction and could convince myself I was happy with the way things were.  The last few years however with the kids growing away more and more and the solitude and lack of physical love and human emotion became more and more prevalent in my life. I no longer could journal and find the good or the humor in things and I eventually had to take medication to help and then it needed to be increased.  I realized with the terminal illness that finally took my mother in law that I didn't want to live a life I couldn't honestly say I was happy living. After caring for her for the last few months of her life and seeing what it was like at the end I decided I wanted to live life to the fullest potential I can. I think I knew for a long time that I needed a New Beginning but was just to complacent and scared to go forward.

I  love my little apt.  it isn't much to look at but well.. the landlord is the sweetest thing on feet and ohhh he is British and ohhh man he has the most wonderful accent so I  love talking to him well actually listening to him and he has the greatest stories. I noticed the gutter was coming loose and called him the other day to let him know it would cost him an arm and a leg to repair them before it got ripped out with the next big rain.  So I invited him in for coffee... he is just tooo funny.  I love visiting with him.  He is entirely too funny, and has the bluest eyes... mmm 

I guess this might be a bomb for some but for the most part I want to begin "journaling" again, time permitting I also have a full time job working at a hotel as a night auditor.  I love it!!!  It works for me!! 

I am very happy and like getting to know me again.  I didn't realize how much I policed my behavior, so it is all a good thing.  I hope Don is as happy as I am... my intentions were not to hurt him and it really is a no fault situation neither of us did anything blatantly wrong, sometimes stuff just happens.  I hope the kids can, with time, realize that we are better off apart than together and can adjust to that. (more to come on that subject)

So I am needing to be heading off to bed but I thought I would share with my friends I have missed and I hope will still be there to read what I might have to say.  :)

Saturday, May 12, 2012

You know what they say....

As you get older time speeds up... well I am truly believing this because it just seems like the days have sped by for me this past couple of months...

Sooooo much has happened since July 2011,,,, Sept. '11 Mother in law was diagnosed with cancer of the colon or ovaries and since it has been there since Jan and has been growing aprox. 1 cm a month to become an 8 cm mass they said there was nothing they could do,,, so she came home and I took care of her best I could and she passed away on Feb 8, 2012.  My marriage is beyond the rocks and headed for the burmuda triangle...  went sorta nuts and was an emotional mess from about OHHH mid Dec. till about mid March I would say but doing way better now.  I got a job as a night auditor just 2 nights a week at the Holiday Inn Express in town.  Loving it!!! Started that the week before my birthday! April arrived and Paul graduated from college...

I am so proud of my boy,,,,, he also got a job at the University at Buffalo or UB as a techincal specialist,,, pretty much doing the same job he was doing at Pitt!  YAY so we spent 3 day looking for finding and securing an apt. and the next week 3 days moving him in.  He is all settled and happy  had his first 2 days and is liking it!  So it is all good. So time has been flying by and I dont' seem to get anything done...LOL Here are some photos the first one is his dinner the night before....graduation and the others are at graduation.

I will try (Iknow I say this all the time) to do better posting here.  I miss writing.  :)