Friday, October 22, 2010

How Are You?

I’m sure you noticed that people often ask you when something has happened in your life, “How are you doing?”  I haven’t figured out how to respond to this question yet.  “How are you?” used to be just a benign question that no one really wanted a sincere answer to, but it has taken on more feeling and meaning since Mom died and I don’t know how to answer it. 

I used to say “Ohhh I’m just wonderful and you?”  That just doesn’t cut it; they look at me with a worried expression, like I’m not dealing or something.  I’m dealing just fine, I think,,, but saying that is awkward and not an expected answer.  So what do you say when some asks??  Are they being concerned for my emotional welfare and wanting to know exactly how I am doing or are they just really asking “how are you?”  as a greeting and not really knowing anything has gone on that would make me other than “wonderful?”  

I never really thought I would have this much trouble answering such a simple question,,, really there is only 2 answers that apply, I am Ok or I am not Ok.  I guess if I started answering with I’m  not OK people would then become concerned that something is really wrong but then again if I answer I’m OK then do they get concerned that I’m just saying that when I’m not really OK.  

I’m also wondering here this morning how long this goes on?  When will “wonderful” be an excepted answer to this question whether it is asked out of concern or just a greeting?  

I guess I’m in that whole 2 yr old mentality of asking “Why” this morning.  I really want to get back to writing on a regular basis and this is a good reason to I do believe, however I don’t want to go back to mundane “Yep, this is what I’m doing today.”  I want to sharpen my skills and write using words not heard in normal conversation or basic text.  I was think I wanted to write either thought provoking passages or interesting content but unfortunately I need to read great works to get back to writing like a writer not just someone who puts words on the paper.  

This was inspired by Kayla who is re-submitting her grad school applications and needed help with her essays.  She would write them and I would help with the grammar and vocabulary.  It was fun, well it would have been more fun however had I had the time to concentrate and enjoy it, but that was during the 10 days while Mom was in the hospital which now seems something of a blur.  Nonetheless I am going to try some writing exercises if I can find any online and see if I can’t push myself beyond the same old same old.  

Amazingly enough it has only taken me all day to write this.  Ok so I worked and had dinner and enjoyed some goofing off fun with Don and Kay!

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