Evolution HUMMM

The thing about relationships is every single one we have make us evolve (change is such a negative word) a bit some more than others and some people more than others.While a leopard can't change it's spots it is essentially a leopard and will do the survival leopard things he will evolve a bit say when he comes into contact with a human who shoots at him or accidentally almost runs him over with a car or something yep that leopard learned, grew, evolved from that relationship albeit short relationship. Humans do that same thing we all say "I hate change," yeah for the most part yep I hate change or evolution on a small scale, but as I look at my life and see how I have evolved into what I am today, it's amazing.

Some changes that have happened in my life that at the time I really despised were, Mom going to work when I was little (about 3), being put into a Catholic School for 7th grade, the loss of a close high school friend and boyfriend, these were all changes I had no control over but everyone of those changes has helped me to evolve.

Then there are the other changes, changes we our selves bring about that we hate are those changes that can cause measurable pain, for me it was my divorce, but for my sanity and happiness it had to happen or I wouldn't have done it, it wasn't a decision I made over night it was a matter of years of thinking and agonizing and those of you who really know me well know what I mean by agonizing.

This Evolving Process isn't just about the changes we hate but changes for the good.. and there have been plenty mostly choices that brought about change and a few of those were, getting married, having my kids, adopting Huntzberger aka Bear, and more recently choosing to move 150 miles to be with some of the most wonderful people in the world, not that my friends and family in Meadville weren't, but these people are just as wonderful and love me just as much in such a short amount of time! The interesting thing about this process is the changes that affect me either type, touch those in my life which cause them to evolve too. The changes in my life are seemingly insignificant in the grand scheme of society but how we react to this process is directly effected by society and therefore an integral part of society, so by the evolution process we experience personally on a daily basis is a part of how we evolve as a society.

I know as surely as I'm breathing there will be more changes, changes in the form of choices and changes that will happen that I can't do a darn thing about which I guess helps us keep evolving into who we will be when the time comes for the final and last change

Hummm beginning to see a theme!

I tend to notice patterns in my  life!  And I have noticed a 4 day pattern,,, soo let me see,,, if I can find even  more than the obvious 4's that have been invading my life... or maybe it is the universe trying to tell me to play the big 4 lottery???

Well I wrote a post about the band-aide philosophy that fiasco was 4 days... a friday till Tue...

Then there was the Sun evening through Thurs evening meet and greet with a very very sweet guy who of course like everyone else lives 3 hrs away,,, hummm bet I could stretch it out to be 4!  

Next and most current is I have 4 days off and going to go camping with a Yahoo friend... this should be rather interesting, and the drive is about get this 4 hours give or take.

Hummm lets see,,, I just need one more to have a complete set of 4!  I just wanted to share my Quad fecta!!!  I am hoping to have a really good time I plan on take a bunch of scrapbooking and cardmaking stuff to work on.  :) I better get packing if i am to leave on my Sat through Wed adventure and I will let you all know how much fun I have when I get back!

Time, Another New Guy, and Opportunities!

I wonder why time grows bigger and better wings the older we get?? !  Lets see when I was a kid didn't really know or care about time,,, except for how far from Christmas it was!  When I was a teen I didn't think it could pass fast enough there was always something I wasn't old enough to do so I wanted time to pass quickly to be able to do that something,,, then all that important stuff happened,,, married, kids, time was the best then,,, I enjoyed every min and cherished it!  Absolutely amazing space of time... then it started to speed up as the kids were growing and before I knew it the days turned into weeks months and then the reminiscence of the years the kids were in school and then college... and now... the weeks fly by with little fanfair! 

I always thought that it was silly when people got all upset over certain milestone birthdays... I still don't do that but I get the whole "life is toooo short" thing! Although then I think to myself truly living is getting the most out of every min. choosing to enjoy the moment that is here and now, for we don't know when it is all over, we hope we have years to come but we don't really know for sure. So.... I am choosing to enjoy what life has to offer right now!  

Right now I have lots to enjoy,,, lets see,,, I have met a new person... yep another one.. and yeah I know they usually don't last long... LOL but... he is sweet, good hearted, sincere, happy, has some of the same interests as I do, and some of the same goals... one of which is to just be happy... I hope he is as into me as I am into him.  He is alot younger than I am ,, and it is too funny that we were both thinking the other one was closer to our age than what it really was, but he isn't jailbait so alls fair in love and war right??  He doesn't have a problem so why should I.  I am sure we will talk about it again,,, I want to make sure he understands the big picture and let him make the decision to go forward with or without me. The funny thing is I find him sooo interesting I can't wait to get to see him again to just talk about what he has done and learned.  I can't wait to share anything and everything with him.  Talking to him is like a good book,,, one you can't put down one that you don't want to ever end.  

I am not real big on the whole new dating scene but I am trying to make the best of it.  Unfortunately working nights and not going to bars and living under a rock doesn't make things easy for local dating.  He is from W VA  giggle I know he does have all his teeth,,,and has never dated a cousin!  He actually spent most of his life in the New England states anyway.  He also has better sewing machines than I do...now there is a man after my own heart! He works hard and doesn't want anything handed to him.  He really impressed the hell right out of me!

Hey speaking of that,,, I was working the other night when this guy and his friends came into the hotel and I checked them in and a bit later they came down to head to the store and when they came back the 2 guys stopped at the desk and he gave me his business card and told me I impressed the hell out of him and he wants me to apply at the company he works at and would like me to use him as a reference if I were wanting to relocate.  I am seriously thinking about it!  Life is worth living right??  I have almost 2 yrs in the hotel business and a few years in the restaurant business, and 18 yrs of being self employed customer service doing hair.  Yeah I think I am can handle customer service.  I also had an offer with a lady I met at the perfume counter at Macy's who wants me to get my resume together to help place me in a better paying job!  Sooo I need to get to work on that!  Speaking of working,,, it is 3 pm already and I need to get some sleep!

Before I go I like to toot my own horn a bit this past week,,, I have done a few projects to improve my home... first I turned my door around and did 90% of the work but did have to have Don come and help me which didn't take much time once he was here.  That makes my apt sooo much nicer and now when you enter you come into the kitchen/all-purpose area instead of the bedroom and with the door opening the other way,,, it can open all the way up the old way it hit the doorway! The next thing I did was today I put up a new clock in the all-purpose room and finally I got at it and replaced that broken toilet seat!  I had a devil of a time getting it off... some idiot didn't use plastic bolts they used a metal one that of course rusted solid and getting it off what a nightmare without having a grinder or a decent cutting wheel for my drummel, but I did finally get it off and was pretty proud of myself! We won't tell anyone about the big chip in the bottom of the hole where the bolt to holds the seat on.  It works!  OHHH now I just need to get the kitchen table fixed and more crap organized for the yard sale which has to be postponed because of work,,, I guess there are a few people with kids graduating and my relief is now on the front desk 3 days and he will be needed on those weekends so I will be having to swap some nights off the next couple of weeks! OYY!  Ohh well.. lets see... it can't all be bad.  I'll find something fun!

Now I'm yawning so I'm going to post this and head off to bed! I hope all is well for everyone reading this!

Band-Aide philosophy

I'm sure we have all heard it said to "just rip it off quickly" when it comes to band aides, well the same philosophy can be applied to many painful situations, like breaking up with someone, or actual band aides, getting your broken finger set are just a few of the situations that it is better to just do it quickly and move on so the sting/pain can go away, and you can get on with life!  

I have been dating for what 8 to 10 months now... hummm let see,,, most of the people I haven't cared enough about to even think of this philosophy but this past day or so I have thought of nothing but that!  The band aid was only 4 days old when it decided it best to be ripped off which honestly hurt like hell.  How can that short of a time period cause a rip that bad??  Then to find out that removal of said band aid was not necessarily the band aid's first desire but more of a prior commitment.  I had not intended for this band aide to become so attached as I knew there were no guarantees it would be with me till it became a permanent part of me.  4 days.... just 4 days,, how does that happen????!!!!!! 

It is easy to remove a band aid that has inferior adhesive even after a period of time they just sorta come loose around the edges and it hurts less and less as those edges lift slowly. It is also usually easy to remove one that is newly adhered because it hasn't had time to really settle in and get stuck really tight, however this band aid had an adhesive to me sorta like what kryptonite is to Superman or a bryer to a favorite pair of pants. I don't know how it happened other than having lots in common with this band aide and apparently the chemistry was too overpowering to stop the extremely tight bond it had on me in just, did I mention,,, 4 DAYS!!! 

The scary thing is even though this removal has hurt like hell I can honestly say that I would do it again! And just like we have all had happen that band aide that we ripped off and folded up somehow misses the garbage can or somehow finds its way back and while I know this band aide should safely stay in that receptacle till there is no more chance it would never ever be there again, and if it should happen to find it can't stay there and should happen to resurface after a time I would welcome it back gladly! 

The sad but truth.....

is that nobody will ever accuse me of being intelligent where men are concerned.  I zig when I should zag, I hop when I should hip I just can't do what I need to at the right time.  I always tell my kids that they should learn something from everything they do.  Even if it is to just learn the name of your vitamins that don't hurt your stomach.  Sometimes life is chuck full of thest lessons and sometimes we go along with nary a bump inthe road for a while with no lessons to be learned (and that should teach us to appreciate that time).  

This last couple of weeks have been full of "lessons" for me, and unfortunately like remembering my times tables I need to be reminded that I really need to be practicing them everyday to keep them fresh in my mind! Although unlike my times tables which  just has me reaching for a calculator these lessons were a bit harder learned, which usually means the bosses office with the door closed.  Yep got called on the carpet not bad but nonetheless a good stern look makes me want to cry and run for cover (dang rock where is it when I need it? re. the one I live under). I really did deserve it!  So I have made the necessary changes and well... for me I feel like I am not living up to my potential but this is what the boss wants. This lesson I don't think I will ever learn.  Sometimes I wish I could just really zip my lips!  

The other lesson is really a two parter.  As a general rule I stay away from men who are out of bounds... but sometimes there are some grey areas... which really shouldn't be grey but to rationalize them I let them be grey.  I really need to practice leaving well enough alone and walking away, not a skill I'm good at... but one I need to learn to save heartache and grief! I think I am done practicing these lessons for one week, and will just stick with playing with paper and thankfully doing hair.  The funny thing is if I had stuck to doing just that I wouldn't need the alll this instruction!

All that aside,,, I had called a friend and he was busy and couldn't talk and I didn't think a thing of it... but a day or so later which was last night he called and apologized that he couldn't talk to me and offered to leave me alone... he is really a sweet guy,,, I have reservations about him though he is like uhhmmm alot alot younger than me,, but he doesn't seem it,,, and he says I don't see my age!  LOL funny thing is he thought I was 10 yr younger than what I was! Talk about flattered! I really am looking forward to the next time I see him, which will probably be next weekend,, since I have been going up there he wants to come down here,, so I think that would be great! Sooo I need to get this place in shape by then! 

Let us hope for a lesson free week!  OHH one other lesson I learned 3 days is tooo long to let the litterbox goooo PEEEE UUUUUUUUUU!

OYYYy!!!

I have been pondering this question for as along as I have been on these dating sites! Sigh are there any guys out there NOT so ingrained with sports they have other activities on their mind other than sex... which sometimes they are too polite to say it but I think when they say sports they really mean sex!  My headline has gotten quite a bit of attention,,, it reads...  Wanna Play??!!  OK no maybe the word play has some implications I didn't mean it to have... and wasn't really thinking that way,, cause I am uhhh duhh,,, stupid,, however I do  mean it for the innocent implication which some have gotten... expecially if they have taken the time to read my little "about me" section,,, which by the way I so hate never know what to say,, "yep I'm weird message me to find out???" I liked this one guy's he said,,,"There is no way I can tell you all about me here so if you want to know message me." So I did,,  It was a good one I thought,,, OYYY I am sure that I won't find my soulmate under any of these premises!  But it will be nice to get out of the house sometimes... grin,, speaking of which have a date tonight movies and here for drinks... yikes... I sooo need to clean,,, 

Of course then there is Anthony,, you know if that boy would give me any indications of how he feels about me it would be better,, but I think he is one of those macho guys who has to uhm have everything right before he can possibly say how he feels.. oyy!  He has the ability to make me sooo dang happy and so dang mad I could scream!  So the jury is still out and I am not stopping my quest while he may or may not be getting ready to tell me he has feelings for me... he did tell me he missed me the other day on the phone, that was nice. I have also decided not to count the times he told me he loved me while being intoxicated, so that leaves me in the "what the hell does he think and feel about me" boat. 

In other news... I have been very sick.  It all began on Tue, I got up with somewhat of a tooth ache in my upper very back molar which had a crown on it.  I didn't think I ever had a crown put on without a root canal so I was thinking this can't be an abscess so I went to work and by morning it was hurting pretty good. Enough to make me stop at the dentist office on the outside chance they would work me in,, they did better however they gave me an apt. for 11 by this time I was in sooo much pain I did take an old vicodin before I left.  I get in there and yep it is abscessed,,, and he does a root canal.  Usually after this is done it takes about 24 hours before the pain is all gone but it gets better over the 24.  I go to work Wed  night and have a hard time working as it is hurting terribly and I am taking a pain pill here and there thankfully morning comes and I come home and go to bed, forgetting about a client that wanted her bangs done so she wakes me and I do her hair,,, and go right back to bed,,, still in pain and not feeling well.  I wake up close to 4 call the dentist office and tell them that it is getting worse... so they call in an antibiotic and more vicodin ohhhh it was terrible having to go get it but I did and got back home took the medicine and went back to bed.  Got up and went to work feeling horrible, but couldn't afford to miss work and I wasn't contagious I was running a fever at this point didn't realize it because it came on slowly but by 4 am I couldn't take it and called my mgr and asked if there was anyway I could get someone in to relieve me.  So I finished I work and waited with some help from my friend Carol who delivered my papers for me.. I owe her! My relief rolled in at about 6:30... whaa whoo half an hour early but still it was better than nothing. I came home and tried to cancel my hair apts for the day  but only got ahold of one so I did the first and left a note for the 2nd and went to bed.  I was still in so much pain I didn't want to even move my eyes...since my stomach was feeling sick I decided to do Alevve instead of pain pills and when I woke when Kay got here I was feeling better NO fever... thankfully,,, I was beginning to feel better... she left and I ate some cream of wheat and went back to sleep... and slept waking only to look at the time about 8 times from 4 pm till I got up at 8 am this morning,,, Im tired and my mouth still hurts but the pain is manageable and centralized in my tooth not throughout my head like it was.

I think I might clean up and shower then sleep till time to get ready for my date!  whaa whoo!  

I hope everyone is having a good day!

The Anniversary of the Cell Phone

The cell phone turned 40 yesterday,,, and I got a text from a special friend telling me that.  I already knew this because a while back he was telling me about that,,, and it is a very ironic that he makes his living of those very apperatices, and it is also very very ironic that he turned 40 yesterday too.  Yes ladies and gents I am sorta dating seeing or something a younger man.  Although he sometimes acts like it and sometimes.. not.

I often thought I wanted more passion and emotion and enthusiasm well I got it,,, I can honestly say that I now have that!  I love the way he grins when he is thinking something mischievous, I love the way he appreciates things about me that I never knew I did or was, I also love the way  he chuckles and I can hear the smile on his face over the phone.  The down side is he can also make me so furious I could scream... but in his defense he told me in one of the early conversations we had he said he would at some point make  me want to slap him..I said "OHHH no  you won't,,, I'm not like that," I said...well lets see,,, yep he was true to his word,,, but the funny thing is I love the package,,, He has a way of diffusing my anger when all I want to do is yell at him,,, he says something which totally takes the wind out of my sails and somehow makes me smile and I can't help but not be angry any more.  Not sure if he does this on purpose or if he does it without thinking.  I'm not sure but I think he is really cool!

Soooo other than that working is going well... I do love my shift,,, and I am sooo very proud of myself, I got my tax exempt to balance,,, found an error that made me off by $90 that if I do say so myself... was not an easy thing to find.  I guess while I am blowing my own horn I should mention that I got not one but two glowing and I mean gushing, the people stayed one night after the other one asked for comment card the other emailed Holiday Inn... whaa whoo... amazing,,, and they mentioned me by name!! How cool is that,, usually it is the front desk girls that get all the accolades!  It is just really cool... and I appreciated the time they took to leave the wonderful words!!!!

Well it is once again bedtime!! I hope life is being good to you!!!